


The Grants Do Christmas

by CatrinaSL



Series: Three Things [23]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Captain America's Shield, Christmas, Christmas Eve, Christmas Smut, Darcy Lewis's Taser, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Forehead Kisses, Implied Sexual Content, Jingle Bell, Kissing, Love Confessions, Mistletoe, Oral Sex, Resolved Sexual Tension, SHIP DARCY LEWIS WITH ALL THE THINGS, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shenanigans, Showers, Snowball Fight, Three Things, Toy Train, Unresolved Sexual Tension, snickerdoodles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 09:24:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13143747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinaSL/pseuds/CatrinaSL
Summary: Darcy has to work over Christmas. That in itself wouldn't be so bad, if that "work" wasn't pretending to be married to Steve...





	The Grants Do Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to phoenix_173 for betaing this for me! ♥

It was bad enough that Darcy had to work over the holidays. But it was worse that she had to do it with Steve. (Not  _ do it _ . Not that she hadn't imagined... never mind.) 

It wasn't that she didn't like Steve (she  _ did _ ) or that she didn't like working with him. It was the mission. It was just the mission and the fact that it was taking place over Christmas.

And they had to pretend they were married. In an adorable Airbnb cabin. Alone.

The story was they were a newlywed couple home to visit "Mrs. Grant's” family, but had decided not to stay  _ with _ the family because... well, newlyweds.

Really, Natasha and Tony were convinced that the bad guys were using the Airbnb cabins to store and move contraband and bad guys. Darcy and Steve were there to observe. Well, Steve was there to observe. Darcy was his cover. Darcy had already asked the obvious question: "why not Natasha?," but she and Clint were posing as a couple who were backpacking to stay with a friend for the holidays. They were going to be in a cabin nearby, but only for one night. Darcy and Steve were booked to stay the whole week.

A whole week. Pretend-married to Steve. Darcy wondered how she was going to get through it without exploding. 

"Aw, it's so cute!" Darcy exclaimed as their hostess showed them in. "I love it!" She grasped Steve's lapels excitedly and he laughed, kissing her on the forehead.

"Living room and kitchen," said their hostess, pointing. "Bedroom and bathroom through there."

"There's even a little Christmas tree!" Darcy exclaimed.

"Everything looks great, thank you," Steve told the woman.

"Enjoy your stay," she replied. "Let us know if you need anything."

"Thank you!" Darcy called, as the woman stepped out onto the little porch and paused a moment to watch them when she thought they weren’t paying attention. 

Steve, meanwhile, pulled Darcy close and gave her a newlywed kiss for the benefit of their audience, but Darcy was completely ready to believe it was real, too.

The front door snapped shut. Their hostess was out of sight, but not necessarily gone.

"I should check the place for listening devices," he murmured in her ear before his lips brushed over her neck. 

Darcy stepped away from him before he could notice her shiver. "Go unpack, Mr. Grant," she said loudly, in case anyone was listening. "I've got cookies to bake."

"Whatever you want, Mrs. Grant," Steve said with a grin.

If Darcy really was Steve's brand new wife, she would have purred and melted against him, so 'Mrs. Grant' did. "Stop trying to distract me with your sexiness," she told him, as he put his arms around her waist.

"You first," he shot back, and even though Darcy knew that he had to get to work, she would have been perfectly fine playing newlyweds all afternoon.

She swatted him on the behind and turned her back on him. "Go," she ordered, and went into the kitchen before she started thinking about how good it felt to have his hand on the small of her back.

"We'll get back to that later," 'Mr. Grant' promised. Darcy shivered.

While Steve took their bags into the bedroom, she hunted up a bowl and a couple of cookie sheets, then retrieved the ingredients they'd brought with them. Darcy's actual cousins were not that fond of her baking, but Mrs. Grant's family  _ loved _ her snickerdoodles. 

He emerged when she was rolling dough into balls and tossing it into cinnamon sugar, and she watched while he bent over to peer into the lamp shades and look under the coffee table.

"How's it look?" Darcy asked, and it was also something Mrs. Grant wanted to know.

"Really comfortable," Steve (or Mr. Grant?) replied. He shrugged; Darcy wasn't sure whether he'd found something or nothing, or whether that was a good thing or not.

"I have to keep an eye on these so they don't burn," she said, "but it shouldn't be long. Are we going to have time for a quickie before we have to go?"

Steve groaned the groan of a cockblocked man. "Your dad's expecting us, but... maybe we could be late..."

"Nope," Darcy chirped. "Punctuality is important, especially to my mom's side of the family."

Steve sighed wistfully. "Later," he said, and it sounded like a promise.

Darcy allowed herself to blush like the newlywed she definitely wasn't.

* * *

 

Tony jumped when Darcy plopped the tupperware of still-warm snickerdoodles down in front of him.

"Merry Christmas," she growled.

"The woman who showed us around didn't seem like she had a mean bone in her body," Steve was telling Natasha. "But not every sweet old lady  _ is _ a sweet old lady."

“She did stay on the porch with her ear plastered to the door for far longer than necessary,” Darcy put in.

"She could be the boss, she could know nothing," Tony offered through a mouthful of cookie.

"Did you find any bugs?" Clint wanted to know.

Steve sighed. "None that I could see," he said, shaking his head.

"But that doesn't mean there aren't any," Natasha pointed out. "Clint and I will be able to run a more thorough check in our cabin, but for now you should live your covers in the room."

Darcy sighed; their cabin was where the bed was, and as newlyweds...

"Can't you give us a detector or something?" Steve asked, sounding as desperate to ditch the lovey-dovey act as Darcy was.

"Sure, Cap; all you had to do was ask," Tony said, and shoved another cookie in his mouth before turning to dig into the super spy kit he'd brought with him.

Clint appropriated the snickerdoodles, and Tony passed Darcy a little thingamajig. "How does it work?" she asked.

"Beeps if there aren't any frequencies in the area, flashes of there are. It'll only work at a range of about fifteen feet, so you'll have to go room by room."

Natasha was explaining another phase of the plan to Steve, so Darcy asked, "What happens if there  _ are _ bugs in the cabin? If we get rid of them the bad guys'll get suspicious, won't they?"

Tony shrugged, a lascivious grin stretching across his face. "You'll just have to make it sound real, then."

* * *

"I really want to go for a walk," Darcy recited when they got back to their cabin. "The lake looks so pretty with all the Christmas lights on the trees... do you think it's too cold?"

Steve's line was, "I dunno; it's definitely warmer inside," but the way he said it, he was not talking about the cabin.

Darcy shook her head to get rid of a blush and glared playfully at him. She pulled out Tony's bug detector and pushed the button. It beeped, but quietly. Darcy frowned and went into the kitchen to try again.

"But we should definitely wrap Jonah's gift first, otherwise we might forget." The thingie beeped louder in the kitchen, but not as loudly as it had in the hotel room the Avengers had secured as their base of operations.

"One perfectly wrapped toy train, coming up," Steve said, and got to work wrapping a present for a child that didn't exist.

Darcy, meanwhile, went into the bedroom and pushed the button on the bug detector.

The light flashed. 

Darcy bit back a sigh and went out into the living room. Steve looked up from his struggle with scotch tape, and she held up the little device with a frown.

"Need some help with that?" she asked.

"It's wrapped like somebody trusted Uncle Steve to do a good job," he reported, "but it  _ is _ wrapped."

Smiling, Darcy went over to help. "I'll do the bow, then we can go for a walk."

"A quick walk," Steve amended. "Spending time with your family today was great, but I'm ready to have you to myself."

"Down, boy," she told him, and got up to get her coat.

* * *

"Hi, Mom!" Darcy answered brightly when Clint called her.

"Is Steve getting the sensors set up?" Clint asked.

"Yeah, we got it," she replied, watching Steve lean down to gather up snow in his hand and drop one of the sensors Natasha had given him while he was at it. 

"Make sure you're spacing them—"

"I  _ know _ ," Darcy interrupted. "But I wanted to double check with Ana to make sure we were getting him something he'd really like."

"What about the cabin? Find any bugs?"

"Unfortunately yes," Darcy said. "Steve wrapped it. He's not the best at that... do you think it'll be okay?"

"Yeah, I mean, there's nothing we can do about it without tipping the bad guys off. I'm sure you two'll be fine," Clint told her. "It's just fake sex. Nothing to be scared of."

"I guess you're right," Darcy sighed, watching Steve toss a snowball out into the middle of the half frozen lake. "And I mean, he's seven, so he'll probably be more excited about what's inside than how it's wrapped, right?"

"Uh, I think you lost me," Clint laughed. "But just in case we're not talking about your fake nephew anymore, I'll just say: you've got nothing to worry about in the wrapping department, Darcy."

"Okay, Mom, I love you too," Darcy said, making sure all the annoyance she was feeling came through in her tone. "We'll see you tomorrow."

She stuffed her phone in her pocket and rolled her eyes at Steve.

"Nice," he commented. "I don't think we have to worry about being overheard all the way out here, but that was really good regardless."

"Oh," Darcy hadn't noticed how far they'd walked while she was on the phone. They were on the far side of the lake; the only light came from a few strands of Christmas lights wound around evergreens closer to the lake, and the moon, nearing full above them. "It's nice out."

"Yeah," Steve agreed, and knelt to place another sensor in the snow.

"Does Tony really think those things are going to do any good all the way out here?"

Steve shrugged. "It's some kind of GPS monitoring. All I really wanted to know was if it was going to work, and Natasha said this was the next best thing to hacking into their system, which we shouldn't do, because it could give us away."

"Sounds legit," Darcy agreed. Then, "Clint said we have to have sex."

Steve slipped on something and fell to one knee in the snow. "What?"

"Because of the bug," Darcy elaborated. "We're supposed to be newlyweds who can't keep their hands off each other. We have to do the sex. For the mission."

"For the mission," Steve repeated mechanically.

" _ Or _ , we could fake it," she reminded him, shoving him sideways. Steve toppled, off-balance because of the snow and Darcy's words. He let out a laugh before he went down, grabbing her arm and pulling her after him.

Darcy screeched as she landed on Steve's chest, but had no time to get back at him, because he rolled them over and shoved her into the snow, scooping up a handful and rubbing it in her hair.

She laughed and tried to shove his hand away, but there was only so much she could do  from that angle. So she decided to retaliate in a different way.

She kissed him.

Steve froze; the two of them had only kissed in front of other people, and only for the benefit of the mission.

Darcy was immediately unsure and began to pull away, regretting every single one of her life choices, including and especially the one that led to kissing Steve for real.

But then Steve's mouth was on hers, hot and urgent and hungry, and Darcy moaned, winding her arms around his neck as one of his hands found her waist.

Steve groaned when Darcy nipped at his bottom lip, and his hand moved higher, up her ribs, coming to rest just under her bra.

"Steve—" Darcy gasped, as he trailed a line of open-mouthed kisses down her throat.

"Mmm?" he hummed, reluctantly removing his lips from her skin as he tilted his chin up to look at her.

Darcy shoved a handful of snow in his face.

She wasn't sure how she managed to get to her feet before he did, but somehow she made it, pelting him with another snowball before taking off toward their cabin.

Darcy only looked back a couple of times (and the second time it saved her from getting a snowball to the back of the head), but Steve lagged behind her all the way back. She even had time to scoop up a snowball and throw it in his direction; she didn't have time to see if it hit its mark.

Steve caught up to her on the porch, threw his arms around her and hoisted her over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, toting her inside as she shrieked with laughter.

"That was quite a performance," he said.

It was dark inside, the light from the moon shut outside with the cold.

"I've got a few others you might enjoy," Darcy told him, not really sure whether she was saying it for his benefit or for whoever was listening to the bug. 

"I'm ready whenever you are," he told her, his voice soft.

Darcy licked her lips. Was this real or fake? What was she supposed to do in this situation? What would Mrs. Grant do?

"Shower," she said aloud.

"Sounds good to me," Steve replied (or maybe he was Mr. Grant; Darcy couldn't tell). He stepped forward and pushed her coat off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor behind her. Then he stepped closer, brushing her hair off of her neck and tilting her head up with his hand.

"I'm nervous, Steve," she told him when his lips were inches from hers.

"About what?" he whispered back. 

All Darcy had to do was go up on tiptoe, and any talking she thought she had to do would be irrelevant. But... she still wasn't sure. "It's our first Christmas as a married couple and I... I just want everything to be perfect."

Steve paused, and Darcy had no idea whether that had been the last thing he expected her to say or if he was just deciding how Mr. Grant would reply. "It's you and me, Darce," he said quietly. "It's going to be perfect no matter what happens."

Darcy kissed him then, softly, stepping away before she got lost in his arms.

"Shower," she repeated, more insistently. "Someone rubbed snow in my hair."

"I'm sure that person would be willing to make it up to you," Steve offered, a smile in his voice.

"That person lost his co-showering privileges," Darcy said, making her way across the living room and into the bedroom.

"What can he do to earn them back?" Steve wondered, following.

Darcy pulled her hair away from the back of her dress. "Unzip me?" she suggested.

"And then what?" Steve asked, as he drew her zipper down. He was standing close behind her, his nose nearly in her hair.

"I guess we'll see," Darcy said, grabbing her suitcase off of the cedar chest at the end of the bed and retreating into the bathroom.

She didn't look at Steve's face before she shut the door. She wasn't sure what she wanted to see there: professional regard or honest desire.

* * *

Darcy was going to kill Clint. She wasn't sure how he (or maybe it had been Natasha) had done it. Now she understood the cute little "nice wrapping" comment he'd made earlier: she was staring down a skimpy red number that had definitely not been there when she'd packed Mrs. Grant's luggage.

She drew in a long breath and pushed it slowly out as she tried to decide what to do. 

If she was going the professional route, the 'Mr. and Mrs. Grant put on a show for the listening device' route, she should put on her yoga pants and an oversized shirt. Then she could leave the bathroom and sit on the bed next to her co-worker while they made fake sex noises and had zero fun.

If she was going the 'fuck it' route (pun intended), the 'Darcy wants Steve and there's no time like the present' route, she should put on the ridiculous red bra and panty set. But if she walked out wearing that, there wouldn't be any way to play it off as part of the mission. 

If she walked out decked in holiday cheer, she had to be sure.

Darcy bit her lip and got dressed.

Steve was on the phone when Darcy opened the door. She slipped under the sheets and tugged them up to her chin.

"All right, Mrs. Grant— _ Mom _ ," he said with a laugh. "I'll tell her. Yes, we'll see you tomorrow. Good night."

"Did she and Dad get the... TV up and running?" Darcy asked.

"I guess so," he replied, setting his phone on the nightstand and regarding her suspiciously.

"Shower's free," she told him.

Steve smiled. "I'm more interested in my wife."

Darcy's heart stuttered nervously as he came closer.

When he was close enough to put his lips on her ear, he whispered, "Ready?"

Darcy nodded.

"We don't have to—I won't touch you, but we have to make it sound real."

She pressed her lips together; she had a few ideas of how they could do that, but if he was going to be professional... Steve leaned away and sat up against the headboard, gesturing for her to go first. Darcy made a face; how was she supposed to make it sound like there was foreplay going on? She made an attempt to ask this through hand gestures, but Steve was confused (or he didn't know; his reply involved a lot of shrugging). Finally she gave up, frustrated, and hopped onto her knees to pull Steve's lips to hers.

He hesitated for half a second before positioning her bathrobe-clad form in his lap.

"I've been waiting for this all day," Darcy said out loud, then leaned closer and whispered in his ear: "Just moan like you want me."

"That won't be difficult," Steve huffed out, and then a little louder: " _ Darcy _ ."

"Mmm," Darcy replied, but it was a sentiment she and Mrs. Grant shared. Steve kissed her again, trailing his fingers up her jaw to tangle in her hair.

Kissing Steve, even when he was Mr. Grant, was incredibly tempting. Darcy felt like she was going to explode if she had to keep pretending that kissing was all she wanted. She wondered if Steve was feeling the same way, but she had no idea how to find out, so she hoped that her tongue and the way she was breathing out his name would.

"Darcy, I—" he managed to say between kisses. "I want—"

"What do you want?" Darcy prompted breathily, shifting in Steve's lap so she was straddling him.

He let out a broken moan and pulled her against him.

“I want—I want you. I want you to—" He paused to let out a sexy huff of frustration as Darcy nipped at his neck. "Oh, god." He growled something under his breath that Darcy didn't catch, but it sounded like it could have been, "fuck it."

And then his hands were on her legs, working up under her bathrobe, up to her hips, where he grasped her and rutted his hips into hers. "Darcy,  _ please _ ."

She hoped her expression wasn't too ecstatic as she reached for the tie of the robe. "Well, since you asked so nicely..."

Steve's eyes widened as she shrugged the robe off her shoulders, as though he couldn't believe what he was seeing. But he still had to be Mr. Grant, so he swallowed and in an awed tone asked, "What's this?" 

"Merry Christmas," Darcy told him, and shimmied her shoulders. The jingle bell over her heart tinkled.

"You're so good to me," he said reverently, looking up into her eyes. There was a hint of hesitation there, as though he wasn't sure Darcy really wanted this—wanted him.

"Only because you're good to me first," she hummed. She kissed his jaw and whispered, "Steve.  _ Touch me _ . I want you to...  _ please _ ."

Steve groaned and one of his hands went from Darcy's hip to her chest. She shivered and tilted her hips against his. "Darcy..." Steve growled, his lips moving over her collar bone. 

It was suddenly a crime that he was still wearing clothes. Darcy attacked his shirt, untucking it to get her hands on his abs. All that tedious unbuttoning could wait.

Steve ground himself against her again, and she'd never hated a pair of pants more. He took his mouth off of her chest when she started to grapple with his belt. "Darcy—"

"You are ridiculously overdressed, Steve," she told him.

"Let me," he said, kissing her sternum once more before pushing her off his lap and leaning back to do the unfastening work himself. Darcy applied herself to the buttons of his shirt, but it was slow going, since they kept getting distracted kissing.

"Wait," Steve said, frowning.

"What?" Darcy paused, terrified that he'd changed his mind.

"I didn't see the panties."

"Oh," she sighed, trying to make it sound conversational instead of relieved.

"Is that...?"

"Mistletoe," Darcy said, pushing herself up onto her knees to display the green against the red lace. "'Kiss me under the mistletoe,' you know?"

The look on Steve's face was definitely one of a man who had been issued a challenge. He shed his shirt and tugged on Darcy's leg until she fell back onto the bed.

"Kiss you under the mistletoe," he repeated, obviously the enjoying the view of her laid out before him. "So, like, here?" He kissed her, and though the feeling of his lips through the lace was amazing and it technically  _ was _ "under the mistletoe," it wasn't the spot she wanted him to kiss, and he knew it.

Darcy shook her head. "Try again."

The next kiss was a little lower, a little longer.

"Not quite."

Steve smirked at her, then chose a new spot. He breathed her in and put out his tongue to taste her.

Darcy gasped and carded her fingers through his hair.

"That must be the right place, then," Steve teased as he pulled her panties off.

With soft kisses and an expert tongue, Steve made Darcy forget about the mission. He made her forget about Mr. and Mrs. Grant, about the listening device in their room, and anything else that wasn't screaming his name.

When she regained her senses, she found Steve kissing his way up her body. He paused to flick the jingle bell on her bra with his nose before moving his lips up to her ear.

"That sounded pretty real," he mumbled.

"It  _ was _ ," Darcy told him, sitting up to address the problem of his belt.

"Darcy—"

"I swear to all that is sacred, Steve, if you don't fuck me right now, you're getting nothing but coal this year."

"I don't—know if—" 

Darcy pushed Steve's boxer briefs down far enough to get a hand around his erection, and he hissed. 

"Do we have any— _ Darcy _ !" he cried out as she took him in her mouth.

"Mmm," she hummed around his cock, and Steve let out a helpless moan. Darcy released him with a pop and sat up. "Let me check my bag."

If Clint and Natasha could sneak lingerie into her luggage,  _ surely _ ...

"Got it," Darcy announced triumphantly, returning with a row of condoms. She laughed when Steve made grabby hands at her, so she jumped back onto the bed and ran her fingertips up his length.

"No more teasing," he said, sitting up and seizing the condoms. "I've been waiting so long for this."

Darcy paused, watching as he tore into the package. How long had he wanted her? She reached out and took the condom, rolling it on for him, and he curled his hand into her hair and kissed her neck. 

"Darcy," he moaned against her skin.

"Steve..." He pulled her back into his lap. She tilted her hips to line them up, then gasped as he slowly slid inside her. "Oh,  _ Steve _ ."

"Darcy," Steve managed to say, his brow knit as he began to move. "You—you're perfect."

"Perfect with you," she moaned.

"Yes," Steve agreed, and thrust into her a little harder.

Darcy's breath hitched as he hit just the right spot. "Right there," she grated out, and Steve repeated the motion. Again. And again.

She wasn't sure how long they moved together, but she crashed over the edge for the second time just as Steve began to chant her name: "Darcy, Darcy, oh,  _ Darcy _ —" 

He pulled her close as he came, his eyes closed and her name on his lips.

"Merry Christmas, Mr. Grant," Darcy said when Steve opened his eyes again.

"And a Happy New Year," he agreed.

* * *

Darcy woke to a labyrinth of blankets and limbs.

"Steve?" she mumbled sleepily.

"Mmm?" he replied, and one of the limbs shifted, pulling her close to a receive a very enthusiastic good morning.

"Hey." She rolled over and pushed a superfluous pillow out of the way to find Steve smiling at her, one eye still closed.

"Did you have the same dream I did last night?" he asked. "There was red lace, and—" Darcy kissed him, and Steve responded enthusiastically, rolling on top of her and tickling her undefended ribs.

She shrieked, but retaliated by seizing his morning wood, and he groaned. "Didn't think you'd go straight for my weakness."

"Aren't  _ I _ your weakness?" Darcy asked with a smirk, working him up and down.

"Yes," Steve hissed, but Darcy wasn't sure if it was encouragement or an answer to her question.

"What time did we tell my parents we'd come over?"

"We've got plenty of time," he told her.

"I dunno..." Darcy said. "I thought I told my sister that we'd be there in time to get the turkey in the oven... And we still have to shower..."

"Fine," Steve pronounced. "Two birds, one stone." He slid away and stood, pulling Darcy with him. She locked her legs around his waist when he picked her up, and he kissed her as he carefully made his way to the bathroom.

Darcy turned on the water when Steve tilted her toward it, and he focused on kissing her neck. But when she turned back to kiss him, she found him looking at her seriously.

"We should talk," he whispered.

"We should shower," she told him. "Can we talk and shower?"

"I... We might get distracted."

"Is... that a bad thing?" Darcy wanted to know. She reached into the spray to check the temperature, winced, and turned back to hear Steve's reply.

"No," he said. "I definitely want—" he took an eyeful of naked Darcy, "—you. To distract me. I just want to make a few things clear."

"Okay," Darcy said, trying to sound not at all apprehensive or concerned about what he was going to say, even though she was. 100%.

Steve sighed and set his forehead against hers. "I... like you," he told her. "I have for a while. I asked Natasha to assign us to work together more, but I didn't think our next mission would be as a married couple. I didn't think I was going to be able to make it through without embarrassing myself with a sloppy confession. I understand if you don't feel the same and if this is just... this. Mission sex."

Darcy sighed out some of her worry and kissed Steve softly. "Same."

"Same... what?" Steve asked with a frown of uncertainty.

"I feel the same. I've had a crush on you for like ever, and I tried to get out of being your fake wife because I thought you'd be able to tell I wasn't faking all the sighing and the kissing. All last night I was sure you were just Mr. Grant-ing it up and when we got back to base it was just going to be 'good job with that last mission, co-worker.'"

"How could you think that after—?"

"I didn't  _ know _ ," Darcy interrupted. "Now I do. You were right. We did need to talk."

"How's the water?" Steve asked.

Darcy stuck her arm in. "Perfect."

"Like the woman in my arms," Steve said, stepping into the shower and putting Darcy under the spray. 

"Nope, no corny lines allowed when you're about to fuck me in the shower," Darcy announced, and Steve laughed.

"Oh... there's one more thing."

"Hm?" Darcy asked, tilting her hips against Steve's. He let out a lustful sigh, but would not be deterred, even when Darcy started peppering his chest with kisses.

"I—we—hang on, just let me— _ Darcy _ ."

"What is it, Steve?" she asked innocently.

He gave her a mock glare, then pinned her against the wall. "This mission. Once we get the intel, we'll probably be off hunting whatever Hydra cells are being supplied by this place. It might take a while. I don't know if we'll be able to see each other very often, or at all, while we're taking care of that. I just want you to know that in advance so—oh god!"

"So: what?" Darcy prompted. 

"So you won't—" Steve grated out, as Darcy tilted her hips and made him hiss. "So you won't move on, thinking I don't want you."

"You want me?" Darcy asked demurely.

"I think that's pretty obvious," Steve told her, drawing a design on the top of one of her breasts with his index finger.

"Mmm?" Darcy hummed, her head falling back against the wall. "Prove it."

So Steve did.

* * *

Eventually, they got out of the shower. They did domestic things like brushed their teeth and groped each other while getting ready. Darcy's bag was already in the bathroom, so she was able to get dressed (and for some reason the reverse-strip tease really turned Steve on, so they had to take care of  _ that _ ). By the time they opened the bathroom door to go back out into the bedroom, they were nice and comfortable.

They were not expecting to hear the familiar but unwelcome sound of Tony's repulsors, but it was all the warning they got before the glass of the bedroom window shattered inward, and two men leapt inside.

"Stay back!" Steve ordered, and vaulted over the bed, towel or no towel (which, by the time he got over there, was the latter). He tossed one unlucky assailant out the way he came and knocked the other out cold with a well-placed fist to the jaw.

"Steve!" Darcy shouted, stepping out of the bathroom and zapping a bad guy who had entered the bedroom through the door. The recipient of her fifty thousand volts of wrath fell backward onto another bad guy behind him, and they both toppled to the floor.

"Heads up!" came a tinny shout from Tony, and a second later Steve's shield came flying into the room, tossed by their friendly neighborhood Iron Man.

Captain America caught his shield easily, then leaped over the bed toward Darcy. "Back," he said again, taking up position in the bathroom door with the shield facing the room.

"Aren't you gonna go help the others?" Darcy asked. "Avenge?"

"Can't," Steve said.

"Why not?"

"Because you used your only defense backing me up," he told her. "And I'm not going to leave you alone in the middle of a battlefield while I rush in to fight it. Naked."

"What about just a second ago?"

"That was only to secure our position."

"And now?"

"Now I have to hold the position," Steve told her, utterly serious.

"I've got a position you can hold," Darcy mumbled lasciviously.

"It's not really a great time for that," Steve said, a note of petition in his voice.

"I mean, you're not wrong, but what else have I got to do? Cower?"

"That's actually a great idea," Steve told her. "You could take cover in the shower."

"I am  _ not _ 'taking cover' in the shower, Steve. That's ridiculous."

"What if they come back with guns?" Steve asked. "You're supposed to obey my orders when necessary, Darcy. You should take cover in the shower."

"Nuh-uh," Darcy replied maturely.

"Darcy," Steve began in his Captain Voice. "Get in the shower, or so help me—"

"Hey, Cap."

Both Darcy and Steve flinched at Clint's nonchalant tone, and Darcy could tell that it took some effort for Steve not to launch himself at the archer out of instinct at his sudden appearance.

"Clint, what the hell?!" Darcy squeaked as Steve moved his shield down to cover some important exposed things.

"Nat's got the whole gang tied up," Clint reported. "There were only about twelve of them, plus the lady in charge. Tony's checking out their system, but he already thinks he knows how they were moving weapons to Hydra. They also had a pretty sweet blackmail side business. With this place being about halfway between New York and DC, they apparently got a lot of seedy politicians looking to stay out of the big-name hotels when they went off on weekend trips with their mistresses."

"You got all that in the last thirty seconds?" Darcy demanded.

Clint shrugged. "Well, we had it pretty well taken care of when we spotted the last four guys heading this way." He put a hand to his ear, nodding at whatever he was hearing through the comm. "Nat says good job on the sex noises. It's likely that you kept the whole team zeroed in on you last night so we could work."

"Ew," Darcy said. "I forgot about the bug after a while. It didn't even occur to me that we were basically doing a porno."

"At least you had fun, though, right?" Clint said. Darcy heard a tiny jingle and looked out from behind Steve to see Clint nudging her bra with his toe. So  _ that’s _ where it had gone. "Tony, you owe Nat fifty bucks.”

Darcy rolled her eyes as Clint winced away from what was presumably protestations from Tony.

"Ready to get outta here, then, or... do you two need a minute?" Clint asked, eyeing Steve's shield pointedly.

"Get out and let him get dressed?" Darcy sighed.

* * *

 

Darcy didn't see Steve again until the six Hydra cells they'd tracked using intel from the Airbnb job had been obliterated. He showed up near the end of January outside her apartment door with a badly wrapped box of chocolates.

"Be my early Valentine?" he said as he handed them over.

"Sorry," she said. "Sexy Valentine's Darcy is only seen on the rare occasions that her secret superhero lover lets her know he's on his way home. Can I interest you in some regular Darcy in the meantime?"

Steve reached for her and pulled her into his arms, smiling as she melted against him as though she were his brand-new wife.

"Always," he said.

**Author's Note:**

> [Prompt a Three Things fic!](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf7S2MbkK0CxVHMG3kF8CD6fYqD0zwY-J6MqLb21nmFyRpE4w/viewform)
> 
> [Reblog on tumblr](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com/post/168928923328/the-grants-do-christmas)
> 
> Tumblr: [catrinasl](http://catrinasl.tumblr.com)
> 
> Twitter: [@Catrina_SL](http://twitter.com/Catrina_SL)


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